I work with women. Basically all women. In the small PR agency of 40+ people, only 2 of them majorly contribute to the testosterone level. When I first started, I didn’t really notice that we were ALL female (honestly because what do you expect in the communication field), but then I realized I don’t mind working with women. I actually love it. Here’s why.
Twenty two was a big year for me; A lot of things happened to say the least. I ended a serious long term relationship and started a new one. I graduated college. I landed a job. I rented an apartment, ended my barista career and sorta became a yogi. I travelled, learned, cried and grew. Ampersand became a legitimate thing while I was 22, as did my love of writing. 22 was a year of change. Despite that–or maybe because of it–22 was one of the best years of my life.
Last year on my birthday, I wrote a post of all the things I wanted to accomplish by the time I turned 23. Having completed most of the things on that list, I only thought it would be fitting to share some life lessons I’ve learned these past 365 days. Cheers to turning 23.
1. Yoga is a wonderful thing. If you don’t believe me, you haven’t done it enough. I first turned to yoga because I wanted to try something new. I turned back to it when I lost my way, and once again when I needed to feel grounded. Words cannot begin to describe the things I learned about myself on my yoga mat.{Shout out to Prana House Yoga for my beautiful birthday practice on Saturday!}
2. Hang onto good friends. My life wouldn’t be as half as fun, happy or full without my best friends. I’m lucky enough to still be friends with my girls from childhood and to have gone to Villanova with some of the best people I will ever meet. All my favorite memories from this year have been because of the amazing people around me.
3. Brunch is always a good idea. What’s better than good friends, good coffee and french toast? There’s always time for brunch.
4. Sometimes, you have to be spontaneous. Yes, you have to be responsible. But spontaneity makes you feel young. It makes you feel adventurous. It makes memories that you’ll tell you kids someday and then they’ll think you’re cool. Just do it because why not?
5. And other times, you just have to be patient. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not patient. But sometimes there’s nothing you can do but… wait. I learned this the hard way with looking for a job, but I ended up in a position that fits me so well, and I can’t imagine being anywhere else right now. Good things are always worth the wait.
6. Love comes in different forms. And they’re all beautiful. Love changes and grows, that’s why it’s amazing.
7. Thank your family. This past year, I won an award based on my leadership and academic achievements at college. My parents attended the ceremony and dinner and it was that night that I realized I couldn’t have achieved anything without them. If they hadn’t supported me, challenged me or encouraged me, I literally wouldn’t be the person I am today. Karen & Joe, I really do owe you everything.
8. Dreams change & that’s okay. For the longest time, I dreamt of becoming a magazine editor. I chased my editorial dreams with a fierce determination all year, only to realize that it might not be what I want to do. At first, I was disappointed and upset with myself that I gave up searching for an editorial position for a job in PR, but then I realized that it’s okay to change my mind. It’s part of being human.
9. Don’t get too comfortable. 1. Because things change, quickly and 2. The best things happen at the edge of your comfort zones. If you’re not a little scared or uncomfortable, then you’re not growing. Keep pushing yourself.
10. Joy & sorrow go hand-in-hand. “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain” –Kahil Gibran.
11. There’s usually a silver lining. Some situations just suck. Sometimes you can’t figure out “the reason.” But sooner or later, you’ll realize the silver lining, no matter how small. Plus, a little positivity never hurt anyone.
12. Hang out with your siblings. Because they’re the best friends you’ll ever have. I’m not only lucky to have Krista, I’m even luckier that I can call her a friend.
13. Save your money, but not all of it. The end of my 22nd year and beginning of my 23rd has been spent thinking A LOT about money. Adulting is expensive! While it’s good to save for your future, we can’t go around not doing things because we’re so terrified of spending money. Great conversations with friends are worth spending money on dinner. Get a manicure when you have a crappy day at work because it will make you feel better. Money is good for saving, but you make it so you can spend it, too.
14. Be goofy. Ryan is a goof-ball. Sorry for outing you babe, but it’s true. And honestly, it’s probably one of my favorite things about him. He brings out a silly, goofy, giggly side of me that I love. We laugh a lot which makes life more fun. He’s taught me to not take myself too seriously.
15. Read good books. Because bad books suck and kill you soul and ain’t nobody got time for them.
16. Networking does help…But so does just being a good friend. I’ve learned valuable professional skills from networking, but I ultimately landed my job because I kept in touch with a friend. Networking is necessary, but ultimately if you’re just a good person and are nice to people, you’ll be fine.
17. Find a mentor. Or two. I’m lucky to have multiple intelligent, strong and kind women that I look up to. I’ve also been fortunate enough to have their help and guidance, professionally and personally. Role models can really make a difference (especially when you have no idea what you’re doing with your life).
18. Throw away your checklists. This is surprising coming from the girl who makes a daily to-do list on a legal pad every day at work. What I mean is, don’t make a check list for everything. It’s probably healthy to have nothing to do some days or not pressuring yourself to get everything done, every single day. Do random stuff you didn’t write down with a box next to it.
19. Be kind. Because there’s no reason not to be.
20. Know your worth. In relationships, at work, in life. You don’t deserve to be disrespected, lead on or treated poorly, ever. It’s not worth it because you’re worth more than that.
21. Trust what got you here. This is one of my favorite things that I heard this year. We may not know where exactly what we’re doing or where we’re going, but you have a whole life of experience behind you and you’ve made it this far, right? Trust the same will help you in the future.
22. Soak it all in. Aka be present. It’s probably one of the most challenging things to accomplish, but I’m determined to make a habit out of it.
23. All you have is time. Hearing this as a freshman at Villanova’s Orientation, my mind was blown. I don’t think I fully understood it until I became a senior when I felt like I was constantly running out of time. No time for relaxing, vacations, long conversations, family dinners, errands, coffee dates or catching up. But in reality, all we have is time. And we have the control of how we spend it.
Here’s to 22 being great & 23 being an adventure.
{Thank you to all the people who made 22 amazing!}
The 7:29 train is always 3 to 7 minutes late. By the time it reaches Manayunk, it’s about half full. Most of us getting on are under the age of 30 and almost all of us are caffeinated.
A couple weeks ago, I swapped my student ID for a transpass, thus beginning my daily routine on the train. I can’t really complain; my commute is about 20 minutes and I spend it listening to music or people watching.
I do a lot of the latter. I blame my qualitative research professor for instilling this fascination with observation in me. In her class, we completed a semester long project where we picked a setting to essentially people watch for over 20 hours. I picked Starbucks, of course, and although the setting was basic, my research conclusions were fascinating. I wrote my term paper on the notion of “familiar strangers,” the concept that complete strangers can become part of an informal community, just by routinely showing up.
I think I found my familiar strangers.
The 7:29 train has its own cast of characters, just as the Starbucks in Bryn Mawr did.
First there’s the delicate smoker. She always stands at the entrance of the stairway, smoking a cigarette and glancing at her watch. She wears light sweaters–exclusively in pastel hues–that compliment her lithe frame. Sometimes a black cursive black tattoo peaks out, right underneath her collar bone. Every day, I wonder what it says.
Then there’s the Bucknell wrestling coach. He usually gets on the train right ahead of me. His wardrobe consists of different Bucknell polos and khakis, and he carries a briefcase. He’s athletically built, as a wrestling coach should be I guess, and I mentally named him “Chad.” He’s probably named something less stereotypical. I should probably stop thinking in cliches.
I like to sit by the door, as does a blonde woman who loves to read her Kindle. Her Louis Vuitton bag has a handmade string bracelet attached to it and she gets off at the same station as me. Every day, without fail, she digs out her wallet and selects a number of bills and a specific amount of change before our stop. Once she gets off the train, she goes to Dunkin’ Donuts, presumably to get her regular order. I bet she’s a latte kind of gal.
The serious ticket master always comes around after the third stop and makes it a point to tell everyone that tickets are cheaper to buy at the station. Two business girls from Penn State usually have the best clothes and gossip in hushed tones all the way into Philly. Sometimes there’s a little boy, whose sneakered feet don’t touch the ground, and his mom lets him hold a metal Starwars lunchbox that holds a variety of action figures.
These are my familiar strangers. They’re part of my routine and I notice when they’re gone.
Sometimes I wonder what they think about me. Maybe they notice the brunette girl who rather wear flip-flops than flats, new to the working world but a Starbucks enthusiast, the newbie to the train who’s just trying to fit in. Or maybe they don’t notice me at all, because I am after all, a stranger.
To everyone else in the world–and maybe to one another–the riders of the 7:29 train are just passerby’s in the commotion of commuting. But to me, they’re part of my daily routine and now part of my story. I may never meet them, but they mean something to me just because they show up.
Ampersand 